In the Begining.....

I very much enjoy writing and talking, so I decided to take those two things and put them together and start a blog.  I'm not sure exactly what will be the subject most days, but I do plan on writing something every day.
Today I think the subject should be something about the beginning.  Beginning of what?  Beginning of life on Earth?  Nah, too deep...:)  How about the subject of the beginning of the changes I decided to make in my life?  Yea, a little less deep! 
In December of 2010, I turned 40.  It was a turning point in my life - a change in my attitude and what I wanted from my life.  I stopped thinking about what I didn't have, started thinking about the things I did have.  A great family, good friends, a job, home, car, food, animals....love.  I stopped constantly thinking about the money I didn't have, the man I didn't have, the kids I didn't have.  With that thought in mind, I changed how I decided to get those things.  I started working toward getting certified to adopt a child in the foster system.  I'm certified and waiting on a child that matches up to me.  Being a single woman, that is difficult, but that is another subject for another day.  I started thinking about what kind of person I wanted to be. Did I want to be a negative person always thinking about what I don't have, how other people bother me because they don't think the way I do?  No.  Absolutely not.  I pride myself on being open minded and accepting people for whom and what they are, so it was time to act on that pride.  Everyone has their strengths.  When I started to see the strengths in people, I started to forget what their weaknesses were.  Trust me, it's not always easy, especially when you have people that like to just THROW their weaknesses in your face - CONSTANTLY!  But, seeing my strengths and almost ignoring my weaknesses caused me to start to bring those strengths to the forefront.  I want people to see my strengths - my positivity - my joy of life.  I don't want people to see my insecurities and my uncertainty.  Yes, I'm sure the people close to me will always see that - as it should be.  But the world needs to see my joy...  So, I've decided to love myself - as I am.  This then caused a chain reaction in me - if I love myself so much, then why don't I do things that show myself how much I love myself?  (Say that 5 times fast!)  Weight loss.  First thing - do I love myself enough to WANT to get healthy?  To look healthy?  To stop putting food in my mouth that is bad for my body?  Do I love myself enough to start eating foods that will allow my body to heal itself, to function in the way it was designed to function?  Maybe I won't have so many migraines; maybe my menstrual cycle won't make me feel like ripping my ovaries out each month (sorry, personal there, but you get the drift).  Maybe I will generally feel BETTER.  Like getting up in the morning and doing some yoga?  Maybe like taking a trip to Flagstaff with Mom rather than sleep my entire 5 day vacation.  Maybe like keeping my apartment clean, and taking longer walks with the dog.  Maybe like looking outside in 110 degree weather and seeing things that are beautiful, rather than just seeing that it is hotter than a bitch out there.
So begins my journey to a better me.  I'd love to have a picture on Facebook that has me saying, "Wow, you look pretty good!" rather than one that has me saying, "OMG!  I'm such an ugly heifer!!!"  My goal is 160 by October.  I have 25lbs to go.  Since I've lost 19 in 7 weeks, I think I will have no problem.  But, I do not want to say, "OK, you have 9 weeks to lose 25lbs!"  I want to give myself a chance to enjoy myself while still losing weight. Like having an ice cream cone at Mom's yesterday.  I don't want to stop enjoying myself.  I must realize that veggies and fruit ALL the time can get boring and cause burn out, then I will fail.  An ice cream cone once in a while isn't going to cause me to fail.  And ice cream cone every day, yes that will cause me to fail!  Moderation - isn't that what our mother's always tried to teach us.

Blessed Be.