Monday, January 28, 2013

Hurdles and Walls!

So, this weekend was extremely difficult! It was nothing she did, it was all me!
I think adjusting to another person in my home has caught up with me!! I just couldn't let the "little things" go!
I wonder if it has anything to do with the fact that I still just don't feel like a mom. I don't feel like HER mom!
Changing my thought process after years of knowing that I'd never be a mom, and never really wanting to be a mom, is taking much more thought and adjustment than I expected! Lack of sleep is also taking its toll.

I have to keep my eye on the long term and stop focusing on the short term!!
Remember that it isn't going to be this way forever! We will both adjust in time!

Blessed be!

Saturday, January 19, 2013

Cats, Cats Everywhere!!!!

The little girl that said she was afraid of cats, screamed when they came near her, won't let them in her room, goes on and on about how her other foster mom said that cats give her ring worm, and didn't even want them in the same room as her -
well - Cole is sitting on her lap right now! :)

I'm so happy!!!!

Blessed Be!!!

Friday, January 18, 2013

Improvement is the word of the day!!!

So, things are getting way better. WAY better!
The other day she initiated an apology. She is also becoming more affectionate. These are very big steps for her.
I can see that she is trying. That is so important. I can see her thinking about things before doing them. I can see her trying to do the right thing.
On the 28th of January, I am to start my new position. When that happens, I will be able to get home earlier to spend more time at home in the evenings. Right now I don’t get home until about 5:30pm, and that leaves 2 hours for homework, shower, dinner and any quality time together. Not much!!
I’m just so glad that she’s with me, now. I’m so glad that she’s learning to accept me as her mother. It is slow going, as expected, but we’re improving and learning.
That’s the name of the game, isn’t it?

Blessed Be!

Tuesday, January 1, 2013

New Year, New Attitude!

Today was a good day. I think it was mostly my attitude! I was feeling like I wasn’t being fun enough, and too strict and rigid, so I decided to be less so!
Today we did quite a bit of fun stuff. We went for a hike, made cinnamon buns, homemade pizza rolls and brownies. She loves pizza rolls, the gross kind you buy in a bag. I told her we won’t be buying those, but we will make our own! So, we did! She loved them more. And they were so much fun to make!!!
She watched Alice In Wonderland and a bit of the Princess Diaries. Now she is a little upset because we are watching the History Chanel’s “How The States Got Their Shapes”. A little education won’t hurt!!!
I think we’re getting used to each other. I’m recognizing when she is testing to see if I’ll yell at her. Today she was doing things with the express purpose of trying to get me upset. So I calmly asked her if she wanted me to get angry with her. She said she did not. I then asked her why she was doing things that may cause me to get angry with her; she shrugs and stops doing it.
Learning new and out of the box ways to deal with her behavior is a challenge. My biggest challenge is trying to figure what behaviors are typical 8 year old behaviors, and which are due to her circumstances. Time and experience are the only things that will help me work these challenges out.
Patience. That is another challenge…Patience!!!

Blessed Be!!