Improvement is the word of the day!!!

So, things are getting way better. WAY better!
The other day she initiated an apology. She is also becoming more affectionate. These are very big steps for her.
I can see that she is trying. That is so important. I can see her thinking about things before doing them. I can see her trying to do the right thing.
On the 28th of January, I am to start my new position. When that happens, I will be able to get home earlier to spend more time at home in the evenings. Right now I don’t get home until about 5:30pm, and that leaves 2 hours for homework, shower, dinner and any quality time together. Not much!!
I’m just so glad that she’s with me, now. I’m so glad that she’s learning to accept me as her mother. It is slow going, as expected, but we’re improving and learning.
That’s the name of the game, isn’t it?

Blessed Be!

New Year, New Attitude!

Today was a good day. I think it was mostly my attitude! I was feeling like I wasn’t being fun enough, and too strict and rigid, so I decided to be less so!
Today we did quite a bit of fun stuff. We went for a hike, made cinnamon buns, homemade pizza rolls and brownies. She loves pizza rolls, the gross kind you buy in a bag. I told her we won’t be buying those, but we will make our own! So, we did! She loved them more. And they were so much fun to make!!!
She watched Alice In Wonderland and a bit of the Princess Diaries. Now she is a little upset because we are watching the History Chanel’s “How The States Got Their Shapes”. A little education won’t hurt!!!
I think we’re getting used to each other. I’m recognizing when she is testing to see if I’ll yell at her. Today she was doing things with the express purpose of trying to get me upset. So I calmly asked her if she wanted me to get angry with her. She said she did not. I then asked her why she was doing things that may cause me to get angry with her; she shrugs and stops doing it.
Learning new and out of the box ways to deal with her behavior is a challenge. My biggest challenge is trying to figure what behaviors are typical 8 year old behaviors, and which are due to her circumstances. Time and experience are the only things that will help me work these challenges out.
Patience. That is another challenge…Patience!!!

Blessed Be!!

Progress and Positive Attitudes

We’re improving! Both of us. Yesterday she got caught ‘sneaking’ candy from the pantry. She accepted responsibility for her actions rather than denying what she was doing. Then she accepted the consequences of her actions. First time! Then she was a very good girl the rest of the day, and today, too! We shall see how long this lasts. :) Positive attitudes!
I do have her weaned off of Disney channel, now she LOVES The Cosby Show! I’m so OK with that! I love that show – and it shows true family values and Bill Cosby is one of my all-time favorite role models! Not to mention funny as heck!!
So, tonight we’re watching The Cosby Show and enjoying some quiet time at home. It is nice. She’s not completely out of control today. I’m feeling confident that we will continue to improve!
Blessed Be!

Settling In…

Well, we are settling in. Slowly, but, we’re getting there. We went to my company Holiday party today. She spent 4 hours jumping in the bouncy house. F-O-U-R – count them – 4 hours!! I was so hoping when we got home she would be worn out. NO! I had to tell her multiple times to use her ‘indoor voice’. Finally she calmed down a bit when we sat in front of the TV (Computer) to watch some crazy Bratz thing. We will wean her off these horrible TV choices. Time limits! She can watch Discovery, History, Science – all those good channels – all she wants! Disney – Nickelodeon – NO!!!
Then we read the rest of our book and went to sleep.
She is getting better….
I’m getting better….
We have a long road ahead of us, but we will be OK. It will all work out!
With a little time and a lot of love, all things can heal!!

Blessed be!

Goodbye Sleep, Hello Stress!!

So, every one of you out there that are moms are laughing at me. I know it, you know it. So, just laugh it up! :) I cannot wait to get into a routine so I can actually get something done!!!!!
This girl is a handful! She has more energy than any human could possibly have, it’s like the Energizer Bunny! We have had our challenges, but we’re getting there. Today was a good day. A very good day.
There was very little attitude, and almost no argument. We had dinner, she ate well (finally) and had her ice cream for dessert. She loves the way I make her ice cream cones. We in the Wells family do NOT just put a scoop of ice cream on top of a cone, oh no, we get a spoon and FILL that ice cream cone up, stuff it in there, and THEN put the scoop on top! That way, you have ice cream all through your cone! She loves it. Of course, what kid wouldn’t??
A friend from work gave us a big bag of clothes – Don’Shel was ecstatic! She wanted to play ‘Fashion Show’, but we just didn’t have time. There is so little time in a day. With moving out to East Mesa, the commute to work is longer, so there is less time in a day to do things. I’m out of the house by 6:20am, and back to the house by about 5:30-6pm. She loves the before and after school care, and was grumpy last night because she had to come home.
There has been a HUGE outpouring of advice from just about everyone – thank you all! Some works, some doesn’t. Don’Shel is a special girl – smart as a whip – and can figure you out to her best advantage very quickly.
The best part of my day:
On the way to school this morning –
Don’Shel – “What are those other two holes under there?”
Me – “Under where??”
Don’Shel – laughing hysterically – “You said UNDERWARE!!!!”
Such a perfect 8 year old moment – which is great for a child that hasn’t really been an 8 year old!

Serious Crazy New Beginings!!!!

Wow! I can't even express my overwhelming appreciation for, well, everything & everyone!!! I knew my friends & family were awesome, but these last few weeks have shown me a side of everyone that brings tears to my eyes!!

Don'Shel is asleep in the room next door, and I realized today how amazing she is! She is afraid of cats, but we talked and I showed her a book on cat behavior, she read the book (mostly) and is showing a real interest in learning & overcoming her fear.

She was very helpful with packing and loves to play the jokester.

Moving tomorrow is scary & sad, yet exciting & fun. She will miss her friends & her foster family, but is happy to be in her forever family. All normal stuff!!

It won't be long before she starts to really show her "true" self, and when that happens I will know she is comfortable!!!

So many people have offered help and support! When I started this, it was the most logical way for me to "have" a child. I didn't really think of it as anything special. After the way so many people have responded, it makes me pause and really THINK! It started as a selfish "I want a kid" thing and has morfed into a "I want to give THIS kid a real loving home!"

I realize that this isn't going to be sll sunshine and rainbows, but won't the immense positives outweigh the silly little negatives???

I think that is what life is all about!

Blessed be!

A New Chapter…and a New Face…

Friday at about 2:30 pm, I received some very good news. As many of you know, I have been working with the foster care system to adopt a child. On Friday, I was chosen as the forever family for an 8 year old girl.

I am excited, yet terrified! We both have quite a few challenges ahead of us! I was hoping that she would be with me by Thanksgiving, but it looks more like it will be the new year. We will spend time together and get to know each other during that time. I will meet the adoptive mother of two of her siblings, as that relationship will definitely continue. I will learn her personality, her likes and dislikes, her specific challenges due to her past abuse, and most of all, learn how to be a mom! After years of not wanting to be a mom, and then believing that I’d never be a mom, here I am – I’m going to be a mom!! It feels a bit strange – and quite unreal.

On Friday I get to go meet her CPS case worker and ask any question I have about her. Then I have 48 hours to decide if I’d still like to adopt her. I can’t imagine a reason that I would say no, as she doesn’t have any challenges that cannot be overcome. With the loving family I have and the strong base that my parents gave me, I see no challenge that we can’t overcome together!

I know that there will be times that I will be frustrated and aggravated, as I’m sure she will be, too. But, isn’t that part of being a family???

Blessed Be!!