The things you find when you're moving!!!!

I remember writing this in English 101, about 1995


The river lies nestled in the back woods, curving almost back upon itself.  Entangled maple trees tower overhead, creating a shaded retreat.  The cool river water is translucent, and the center appears to be motionless.  The rocks, sand, and fish that inhabit the river are clearly visible, as if I am looking through a glass bottom boat.  Water spiders glide across the water's surface causing circular ripples to fan out until they reach the bank on either side.  Deep green leaves bring a fresh, clean look and smell to the area.  There is one large light brown rock protruding out of the center of the river, three smaller rocks next to it creating a path from the riverbank to the rock.  A ray of light shines down through the trees, slightly warming the flat surface of the rock.  The air is heavy, and the light breeze barely moves the hot air.  Small, pale pink blossoms of the mountain laurel, mixed with the scent of decaying wood, give the forest a feeling of the old combined with the new.  The bright noon sun shines down; foggy particles of dander float in the sun's rays.  The animals are quiet, taking a siesta.  The faint sound of the waterfalls down river is the only sound above the rustling leaves.
From the view on the rock. looking up-river, there is a tall pine tree with long, drooping branches.  Underneath, close to the trunk, the briars are entwined making a cozy home for a family of rabbits.  Light brown fur is barely visible against the green of the fragrant pine needles.  A regal buck emerges cautiously from the trees.  He pauses near the river, sniffing and listening, to check for danger. He slowly moves towards the river, looks directly at me, and deciding that I am no danger, drinks the sweet, cold water.  Suddenly he perks his head up, turns around and silently bounds away in long, quick leaps..  The sun starts to dip toward the west.  Slowly, animals rouse from their siesta and bring the forest to life once again.  Various distinct bird calls penetrate the silence.  The family of rabbits wake, bounding from their home in search of food, their noses in constant motion.  Gray squirrels and chipmunks scramble from tree to tree, trying to out do each other in a contest of daring, each jump more adventurous than the last.  A raccoon and his mate lumber to the river bank.  Using their front paws like hands, they scoop crawfish from under small rocks and crunch them with delight.  A rare blue heron, with a wing span of about five feet, glides down to the river.  She lands on a rock on the right side of the river and inspect the fish idly swimming below the surface.  With quick movements, she dips down and ensnares a rainbow trout in her large bill.  The trout flops, trying to get free.  With as much grace as when she landed, she flies off again. 
The sun is now very low in the western sky, and the chill of the night penetrates the warmth of the day.  Languidly, and with great regret, I get up from the rock.  I bound across the smaller rocks to the river bank and start home.

Human Rights

As a staunch supporter of LGBT rights, I have ‘Liked’ the page on Facebook called “I Support Gay Rights”. On one of the posts was this picture:

(BTW, I LOVE this guy!)
Some person then commented on this picture with this:
“How could one be gay and support that bigoted tactless asshole? He has the right to freedom of speech but I also have the right to comment on it.”
Comments like this make me first question the intelligence of the human race, and sadly I question that intelligence quite often. Then the next question; how can one be pro-gay rights yet feel that people that are not pro-gay rights do not have the right to voice their opinion, or, in this case, have a gay person support that freedom of speech! If we as supporters of gay rights – which I completely believe are HUMAN rights – do not support ALL human rights, then is it not true that we then become the bigots?

Phil Robertson expressed his opinion, that was it. An opinion that he has a HUMAN right to have, and to voice. For people that are so intimately aware of bigotry and of having their rights denied them, isn’t it only proper for those people to support the rights of all even more so? There is no “it’s ok for these type of people, but not these type of people” when it comes to human rights – it is something that should be available to everyone – no matter their race, religion, gender, sexual preference or personal beliefs.

I am proud to be a single, Pagan, straight (which is a word I dislike because it infers that people that aren’t straight are crooked, or bent, or not right, but I have no other word that conveys what my intentions are that people will understand) woman that feels that the personal journey that each human takes is the business of that person, and that person only. It is not the business of the government, religious groups or other humans to judge or determine if their journey is ‘right’ or ‘wrong’. Let us never forget the best line ever written in the Bible (which, of course, is my opinion!):

Luke 6:37: Judge not, and you shall not be judged: condemn not, and you shall not be condemned: forgive, and you shall be forgiven:

Please note that even though this states that we shall be forgiven, I in no way feel that anyone in the LGBT community should be 'forgiven' for being who they are!  But, I do believe we should never judge or condemn another person strictly on their sexual preference.

Which segues into my next subject on this touchy topic: Alan Turing. Now, although it is wonderful that the Queen has so graciously pardoned this extraordinary man for being a homosexual, in some ways the very act of pardoning him is a bit of an insult. This man was brilliant, helping to break Nazi Germany’s “unbreakable” Enigma code, invented the electromechanical machine (which was the forerunner of modern computers) and was, by all accounts, a brilliant guy. Yet, he was arrested and chemically castrated in 1952 for having sex with a man. Two years later he committed suicide because of this conviction and castration, and I’m sure because he was treated not as the brilliant man he was and with respect for his inventions and his accomplishments, but because the law said he was ‘bad’, ‘wrong’, ‘indecent’ – Oh wait, not just ‘indecent’, but ‘grossly indecent’!
The reason I feel that this pardon is in some ways an insult is that he has been pardoned 59 years after his death! Now rather than the Queen taking the time to express her respect and gratitude for his brilliant accomplishments, the fact that he was a homosexual has again overshadowed these accomplishments. Is the sexual preference of someone the only thing that defines them? If so, then why am I not completely defined by the fact that I am attracted to men? Why is the sexual preference of someone so important that it overshadows everything they do?
I have quite a few homosexual friends – and as I list some of them here (without their names), you may recognize yourself in my words:

J is an extraordinary chef that has been on many TV shows and is determined that Native American cuisine is a tradition that is not another thing Native Americans around the US will lose, teaching traditional recipes all over the country.

J is a funny, sweet person that makes me laugh and angry, sometimes in the same minute!

L is an excellent nurse that has a heart the size of the world and wants to heal it.

C is a wonderful mother and a grandmother that has kept her family close and safe.

C is probably the one I admire the most.  Growing up in a small town, with many small minds, and still holding his head up high and NEVER apologizing for who he was, never showing his fear or uncertainty I'm sure he felt throughout his childhood.   

S is a wonderful artist, athlete and an extremely generous guy.

We are human, each and every one of us. To be identified on one aspect of our lives is ‘grossly’ unfair. We all have many accomplishments, many failures and with hope, we will have more. Let us never forget that we are all individual, yet we are all one. We are Human.

Blessed Be

More Elf on the Shelf

Here are a few more!!!



Sitting on the ledge above the living room, spying!!!

 

 

Sitting in the window watching the sun rise!

 

 



Sitting on top of the lights in the bathroom!

 

 

Yesterday I bought a waffle maker so I can maker waffles for her breakfast rather than buying those Ego things (YUCK).  She saw it in the back seat of the car last night. 

 

G: Forget that you bought this waffle maker, K?

Me: What??

G: You need to completely forget that this waffle maker is back here.

Me: Why?

G: Because! Now just forget it's here!!!!!

 

Apparently I'm getting a waffle maker for Christmas!  LOL

 

Happy Holidays!!!!!

 

The Elf on the Shelf

My good friend, Jessica, introduced me to “The Elf on the Shelf”, we are in love with this book and our new elf, Kelsey. She is such a little character! Her first morning, she was hiding on the shelf.

Chilling on the shelf in the dining room.

This is morning 2.

I guess she got hungry!!!
Morning 3.

Looks like I have to dust pretty badly, since her little bum got all dusty trying to get up on the shelf!!!

If you have young children, or grandchildren, in your home – I highly recommend The Elf on the Shelf!!!

Absence Makes the Heart Grow Stronger.....Maybe??

I haven’t posted in a long time, obviously. I’ve been busy, but mostly because when I have free time, I usually spend it catching up on the TV shows I wanna watch!

Today was a good day! We are having more and more of them. I still sometimes feel like, “What did I get myself into???”, but overall, things are good.

The other day when I dropped her off at school she leaned down and grabbed something. So I asked her if she dropped something. She said, “No, I’m pulling down my pants!” I started laughing so hard, and she gave me such a typical Grace look that said, “You KNOW what I mean! I’m NOT pulling DOWN MY PANTS!” All that in one look.
I think her true personality is starting to show. That’s nice, because it is really a great personality. We still have to work on sitting still, paying attention, thinking before acting, and a bit of aggression. But, these things take TIME! I’m sooo impatient!!!!

She’s drawing me a picture of her day today. I love it!

My thing is to work on my anger management skills. It is extremely difficult during PMS, let me tell you!!!

Practice and patience. Two things I’m having difficulty with. Well, mostly the patience thing. I keep hearing Ma in my head saying, “Patience is a virtue!”, as she said for my entire childhood!!!

The support I get from my family and friends is tremendous. It makes me realize how strong the bonds are. D has been especially helpful, and is so patient! I can see that she will make an incredible mother some day!


My new position is wonderful. Better hours (until summer, which is our peak time), better pay and an overall better job. Right up my alley! Oh, and of course, a WAY better boss!!!

I have a new car, a house, a daughter a great job, a wonderful family and incredible friends. I have so much in my life. I can’t imagine it could get any better!

Blessed be!!

Hurdles and Walls!

So, this weekend was extremely difficult! It was nothing she did, it was all me!
I think adjusting to another person in my home has caught up with me!! I just couldn't let the "little things" go!
I wonder if it has anything to do with the fact that I still just don't feel like a mom. I don't feel like HER mom!
Changing my thought process after years of knowing that I'd never be a mom, and never really wanting to be a mom, is taking much more thought and adjustment than I expected! Lack of sleep is also taking its toll.

I have to keep my eye on the long term and stop focusing on the short term!!
Remember that it isn't going to be this way forever! We will both adjust in time!

Blessed be!

Cats, Cats Everywhere!!!!

The little girl that said she was afraid of cats, screamed when they came near her, won't let them in her room, goes on and on about how her other foster mom said that cats give her ring worm, and didn't even want them in the same room as her -
well - Cole is sitting on her lap right now! :)

I'm so happy!!!!

Blessed Be!!!

Improvement is the word of the day!!!

So, things are getting way better. WAY better!
The other day she initiated an apology. She is also becoming more affectionate. These are very big steps for her.
I can see that she is trying. That is so important. I can see her thinking about things before doing them. I can see her trying to do the right thing.
On the 28th of January, I am to start my new position. When that happens, I will be able to get home earlier to spend more time at home in the evenings. Right now I don’t get home until about 5:30pm, and that leaves 2 hours for homework, shower, dinner and any quality time together. Not much!!
I’m just so glad that she’s with me, now. I’m so glad that she’s learning to accept me as her mother. It is slow going, as expected, but we’re improving and learning.
That’s the name of the game, isn’t it?

Blessed Be!

New Year, New Attitude!

Today was a good day. I think it was mostly my attitude! I was feeling like I wasn’t being fun enough, and too strict and rigid, so I decided to be less so!
Today we did quite a bit of fun stuff. We went for a hike, made cinnamon buns, homemade pizza rolls and brownies. She loves pizza rolls, the gross kind you buy in a bag. I told her we won’t be buying those, but we will make our own! So, we did! She loved them more. And they were so much fun to make!!!
She watched Alice In Wonderland and a bit of the Princess Diaries. Now she is a little upset because we are watching the History Chanel’s “How The States Got Their Shapes”. A little education won’t hurt!!!
I think we’re getting used to each other. I’m recognizing when she is testing to see if I’ll yell at her. Today she was doing things with the express purpose of trying to get me upset. So I calmly asked her if she wanted me to get angry with her. She said she did not. I then asked her why she was doing things that may cause me to get angry with her; she shrugs and stops doing it.
Learning new and out of the box ways to deal with her behavior is a challenge. My biggest challenge is trying to figure what behaviors are typical 8 year old behaviors, and which are due to her circumstances. Time and experience are the only things that will help me work these challenges out.
Patience. That is another challenge…Patience!!!

Blessed Be!!

Progress and Positive Attitudes

We’re improving! Both of us. Yesterday she got caught ‘sneaking’ candy from the pantry. She accepted responsibility for her actions rather than denying what she was doing. Then she accepted the consequences of her actions. First time! Then she was a very good girl the rest of the day, and today, too! We shall see how long this lasts. :) Positive attitudes!
I do have her weaned off of Disney channel, now she LOVES The Cosby Show! I’m so OK with that! I love that show – and it shows true family values and Bill Cosby is one of my all-time favorite role models! Not to mention funny as heck!!
So, tonight we’re watching The Cosby Show and enjoying some quiet time at home. It is nice. She’s not completely out of control today. I’m feeling confident that we will continue to improve!
Blessed Be!

Settling In…

Well, we are settling in. Slowly, but, we’re getting there. We went to my company Holiday party today. She spent 4 hours jumping in the bouncy house. F-O-U-R – count them – 4 hours!! I was so hoping when we got home she would be worn out. NO! I had to tell her multiple times to use her ‘indoor voice’. Finally she calmed down a bit when we sat in front of the TV (Computer) to watch some crazy Bratz thing. We will wean her off these horrible TV choices. Time limits! She can watch Discovery, History, Science – all those good channels – all she wants! Disney – Nickelodeon – NO!!!
Then we read the rest of our book and went to sleep.
She is getting better….
I’m getting better….
We have a long road ahead of us, but we will be OK. It will all work out!
With a little time and a lot of love, all things can heal!!

Blessed be!

Goodbye Sleep, Hello Stress!!

So, every one of you out there that are moms are laughing at me. I know it, you know it. So, just laugh it up! :) I cannot wait to get into a routine so I can actually get something done!!!!!
This girl is a handful! She has more energy than any human could possibly have, it’s like the Energizer Bunny! We have had our challenges, but we’re getting there. Today was a good day. A very good day.
There was very little attitude, and almost no argument. We had dinner, she ate well (finally) and had her ice cream for dessert. She loves the way I make her ice cream cones. We in the Wells family do NOT just put a scoop of ice cream on top of a cone, oh no, we get a spoon and FILL that ice cream cone up, stuff it in there, and THEN put the scoop on top! That way, you have ice cream all through your cone! She loves it. Of course, what kid wouldn’t??
A friend from work gave us a big bag of clothes – Don’Shel was ecstatic! She wanted to play ‘Fashion Show’, but we just didn’t have time. There is so little time in a day. With moving out to East Mesa, the commute to work is longer, so there is less time in a day to do things. I’m out of the house by 6:20am, and back to the house by about 5:30-6pm. She loves the before and after school care, and was grumpy last night because she had to come home.
There has been a HUGE outpouring of advice from just about everyone – thank you all! Some works, some doesn’t. Don’Shel is a special girl – smart as a whip – and can figure you out to her best advantage very quickly.
The best part of my day:
On the way to school this morning –
Don’Shel – “What are those other two holes under there?”
Me – “Under where??”
Don’Shel – laughing hysterically – “You said UNDERWARE!!!!”
Such a perfect 8 year old moment – which is great for a child that hasn’t really been an 8 year old!

Serious Crazy New Beginings!!!!

Wow! I can't even express my overwhelming appreciation for, well, everything & everyone!!! I knew my friends & family were awesome, but these last few weeks have shown me a side of everyone that brings tears to my eyes!!

Don'Shel is asleep in the room next door, and I realized today how amazing she is! She is afraid of cats, but we talked and I showed her a book on cat behavior, she read the book (mostly) and is showing a real interest in learning & overcoming her fear.

She was very helpful with packing and loves to play the jokester.

Moving tomorrow is scary & sad, yet exciting & fun. She will miss her friends & her foster family, but is happy to be in her forever family. All normal stuff!!

It won't be long before she starts to really show her "true" self, and when that happens I will know she is comfortable!!!

So many people have offered help and support! When I started this, it was the most logical way for me to "have" a child. I didn't really think of it as anything special. After the way so many people have responded, it makes me pause and really THINK! It started as a selfish "I want a kid" thing and has morfed into a "I want to give THIS kid a real loving home!"

I realize that this isn't going to be sll sunshine and rainbows, but won't the immense positives outweigh the silly little negatives???

I think that is what life is all about!

Blessed be!

A New Chapter…and a New Face…

Friday at about 2:30 pm, I received some very good news. As many of you know, I have been working with the foster care system to adopt a child. On Friday, I was chosen as the forever family for an 8 year old girl.

I am excited, yet terrified! We both have quite a few challenges ahead of us! I was hoping that she would be with me by Thanksgiving, but it looks more like it will be the new year. We will spend time together and get to know each other during that time. I will meet the adoptive mother of two of her siblings, as that relationship will definitely continue. I will learn her personality, her likes and dislikes, her specific challenges due to her past abuse, and most of all, learn how to be a mom! After years of not wanting to be a mom, and then believing that I’d never be a mom, here I am – I’m going to be a mom!! It feels a bit strange – and quite unreal.

On Friday I get to go meet her CPS case worker and ask any question I have about her. Then I have 48 hours to decide if I’d still like to adopt her. I can’t imagine a reason that I would say no, as she doesn’t have any challenges that cannot be overcome. With the loving family I have and the strong base that my parents gave me, I see no challenge that we can’t overcome together!

I know that there will be times that I will be frustrated and aggravated, as I’m sure she will be, too. But, isn’t that part of being a family???

Blessed Be!!

Choosing Associates - How We Learned...

As many of you have noticed, I am very picky and choosy about who are my 'friends' on Face Book. I only choose those that are actually people I care about - friends and family. I don't let anyone and their mamma become my 'friend' on FB.

With that in mind, I was going through my friends and thinking on how I remember a few from way back when we were younger, and who they are today. I noticed that more than I realized are now in same sex marriages. And that got me to thinking (after a post from a friend about people speaking about gay lifestyles) about how it is that people choose their friends and associates.

Me in particular - how was I taught to choose? When I think of my childhood, the prominent teacher and disciplinarian was Mom with Da in the background. Then I think specifically of how we were taught to choose our friends and it becomes Da in the forefront and Mom in the background. These were things that Da taught us by example, not by lecturing which was Mom's chosen method! Da taught us that these are the most important and best ways to act:
• Always have integrity and honesty
• Your word is your bond - never break it
• Work hard - even if you don't like the job, always do your best
• Treat people fairly and with respect - never cheat a person
Then I realized that these qualities were ones that he not only taught us to have, but to look for in people. I believe in Da’s quiet way, he taught us that these were qualities that a person can choose to have, or choose not to have, therefore choosing your friends based on this is right and proper. The underlying message is that one shouldn’t choose their friends for things that the person cannot choose to have or be. You can’t choose, no matter how hard we may try, who you’re attracted to or who you love, you can’t choose the race you’re born into. With that in mind, why do people use those reasons to choose their friends?
One reason I’ve noticed is religion. Well, I say BULL SHIT on that! Jesus Christ accepted and loved everyone – whore and leper alike. He loved and forgave Judas; He loved and forgave the people that crucified Him. So – that example is that we love everyone. Didn’t He teach love, acceptance and tolerance? So, if you are using religion to hate, reject and shun anyone – no matter who they are – aren’t you just playing into the Devil’s hands???

Blessed Be!

First Day on the Job...

So, today was my first day on the job. Yup, boring. Can anyone tell me of a first day they had that wasn't boring?? I only worked 6 hours. But, trust me, I'll make it up. They have OT there like crazy!! So, for the next few months I'm going to be working up a storm, and making plenty of money to go along with it! :)

It was wonderful to see people that I haven't seen in years. Things are different, but that is a challenge for me, and I like it!

So, I'm going to go watch a movie, eat dinner, talk to a few friends, and get ready to get up at 5:30 am to get to work at 7am.

I'm such a baby.

Blessed be!!

New Job...

I got my offer letter officially today from Source Refrigeration and HVAC, and I start my new job tomorrow. I will first start out in their dispatch center helping get it all fixed up, and helping out during the hot season. Then I will move over to Customer Account Specialist, taking care of Safeway, I hope. With my experience and knowledge of Safeway, it would be a terrible waste if they didn't take full advantage of that! :)
So, tomorrow I start a new chapter in my career. Onwards and upwards. I'm very excited and can't wait. I was very stagnant at Safeway, was so afraid of change (which is strange for me) that I didn't bother to look around for options. I was there for 7 years 8 months - the longest job I've ever had in my life. I won't make the mistake again of not keeping options open. I will keep an eye on all kinds of things, keep my options open, keep networking with people that I not only genuinely like, but would love to work with. Loyalty to a company is all well and good, but if there is no chance of promotion, then it is not the place for me. I am still loyal to Safeway, and will continue to shop there, but I need to go further in my career. I love refrigeration and HVAC, supermarkets in particular, but staying at the same job doing the same thing for years on end is not where it’s at anymore. At least not for me. I have been making some big changes in my life, and this is just one more.

I’ve always been a late bloomer!!

Blessed be!

Junk

I've been trying to organize around this apartment during my week and half 'vacation'. I have boxes of stuff that I just have no where to put, but I just can't get rid of it. I hope to someday have a house where I can use/display it, but that is a little further in the future.
So, I'm getting all frustrated trying to find places for the stuff.
And trying to put up a ceiling fan. I just can't seem to find the stinking studs. Same problem I have in real life - studs are never to be found when you need them.

:)

Blessed be.

Career Changes...

So, I have officially resigned from Safeway. I am no longer an employee. Seems that was not a good fit for me. So, now I am currently working on another opportunity - and it is looking very good. I tried to get Safeway to allow me 2 weeks to train someone new, but they would have none of it. So, currently unemployed, but not for very long. Maybe a week or so.
I'm so excited - this new position (which I will give more info on when it is all said and done) is more money, the work is more suited for my strengths, and I know the people and the business. I'm very excited!!!
So, to help shed a little more light on my vagueness of yesterday - here it is.

More to follow...I promise!!

Blessed Be!!!

Today is the first day...

...of the rest of my career.

I can't wait!!!!

Blessed be!